Embracing Hardship

This last few weeks have been very difficult but not anything that should beat me.  I don't understand some of the things that have happened to me but I embrace difficulty, pain, suffering, laughter and joy all the same.  It's not easy but after so much practice it gets better.  My daughter Valerie will be leaving for college and my Vivian will be starting her freshman year in high school.  They grow up so fast and you stand there looking back wondering where...what and why but no one answers.  It is plain reality and it attaches to your skin like a cancer.  I ended up in the hospital on May 3rd with Pneumonia and I stopped breathing.  I barely made it to the hospital where I fought for weeks to get out of that hospital bed.  It was during this time that I learned that as much as I wish that things remained the same; we need to learn to let go.  We have no control and I cry at times, I cry for all the newborn children who don't have a clue of the world they are coming to or the poor young man that just enlisted to go defend our country while we fail to reach any sort of peace.  What is wrong with us?  What goes through our minds?  I wonder if anyone else shares my thoughts and fears.  I am against war and dream of the day that we can look each other in the eye without differences of color or language.  You may be thinking ..as if...whatever...really..wow she's a dreamer.  Yes I am a dreamer because one day all the hardship that I embrace will come to an end.  That day I will be in a wonderful home full of peace.  I won't have to dream anymore and I will turn to the person next to me and I will not have to worry that we are not equal.  In that special place I am an equal...I am not embracing hardship any longer.  I am now free.  I am rejoicing with all my loved ones in an a place that cannot be described in my own words but the thought of it sweeps my breath away.